My Pa-Pa

Dave's dad, lovingly known as Pa-Pa, passed away yesterday, Saturday, around 10:00 a.m. Friday afternoon he either suffered a stroke, fell and hit his head or he fell, hit his head and suffered a stroke.

He did not linger, he did not suffer. Within 24 hours he was in Heaven with his Father and little girl he lost less then two weeks ago. The same little girl that last week he professed he just did not know how to live without.

In my head, among the bee hive of voices, the CCR song Who'll Stop the Rain? It just keeps on playing.

Last night my fortune cookie read "You are headed to the land of sunshine." I'm ready.

Klf

Flower Bringing & Sad, Sad Singing

Wednesday at 2:40 a.m., Dave's sister went into the light; Veterans Day if you will. She was a fighter and I mean that.

I have been through some tough times in my life but this, watching her waste away, was the worst experience to date. Not only was it unfair for a woman of only 42 years of age to leave life so damn early, watching her many friends, family members, the children, Dave and his parents... I don't see how any of us can ever be the same again.

But everyone is putting one foot in front of the other and today will say their final good~byes. I am ready to move on. I don't want to remember the past few weeks. I don't want to remember that poor pitiful thing that used to be my little sister.

I loved her dearly, and some might think this is ugly, but if she couldn't get better and God knows I wished she could with my whole heart, it was better for her to go; see The Father and leave that shell behind. I can think of no worse nightmare than what she went through. She was a tiger though~ to the very end.

For the record, I have been a good girl following the traditional Southern Georgia Baptist rules I am surrounded with. But come this afternoon, the East Tennessee Hillbilly Revival will be in full swing. I will drink to her life on this earth and to the life she now has with Jesus. That's just our (my family's) way; tell stories, eat, drink and cry until it's all out.

I don't want to carry that last picture of her with me the rest of my life. She wouldn't like it. I prefer the memory of us on the dock catching that huge carp that was about a big as she was. Her shepherding the nieces and nephews around like a mother hen when she was but a youngen herself. Us drinking wine and peeing in the parking lot behind the Pizza Hut~ laughing our bare asses off.

First things first~ get through this morning. Like my friend Don said "there's nothing left but the flower bringing and the sad, sad singing."

Klf

A

Do you remember what snow ice cream tastes like?

A nod of the head; I dip the tan plastic spoon in the vanilla ice cream coating it creamy white, then in another styrofoam cup to scoop out tiny ice chips. Slowly an old memory slides from spoon into waiting mouth.

A small smile.

Klf

Lean form rests abed.

Chaos swarms, disjunction dines.

Rose fragrants hearts hope.

Klf

September Song

It's been well over a month since I've sat down to scribble out a few lines here. Life as I knew it has become very complicated; and me a simple person.  Oy vey~

Johnny Rotten, my grandson, quite honestly is the brightest star that once or twice a week shines on me. When I hold that little stinker, my world is perfect and content. As Dave says, "I glow".  I also purr as I rock the baby. 

Dave's sister is very sick. This morning I'm heading back up to the hospital. The surgery she had last week didn't go so well and her lung collapsed. It has since not re~inflated. Her other lung is full. 

The garden was a total bust. Sometimes I wonder why I even try but come spring, I probably will be back out there digging in the dirt again. 

Dave and I had one huge pecan tree cut down and three other topped. The yard is a wreck. The people we hired did not do the clean up job we paid them for... I was really angry about it for a while but have since come to realize its my own fault. I shouldn't have paid them until the job was complete. So much for trusting in my fellow men; I've been duped. I've also been splitting wood and stacking it. Hey, at least I won't have to worry where my fire wood will be coming from this year. 

Dave's birthday came and went. He got a new pair of over-all's and a log splitter.... 

Dog and Thomas have become tag team partners. Thomas sits on top of the log pile, chases the baby squirrels down and Dog gobbles them up. Sounds like a Grimm's Fairy Tale does it not?  

I've finished the baby/computer room; painted the mud room and now Dave says he will be painting the outside of the house next week. The Farm is getting a face lift. It sure needs it. 

I've been busy, busy, busy and it don't look like it's going to get any easier. The only thing that has been easy is being and becoming a Nanny. It suits me~

 

What's not to love? 

Klf

I miss everyone and am so sorry I've not been to visit here of late. Things have been hectic and with a promise of more hectivity. I know that's not a word, but there it is.  I've gotten so far behind on everything. 

The garden is in shambles. I'm hoping within the next few weeks, I can correct that situation. We finally had some rain this past week-end so what little was left alive, may live to give. I'm not holding my breath on that one. I hope (now that the dirt is workable) to till and plant some peas. I've also thought about starting some more tomato plants. The only plants still producing are the peppers; sad, sad, sad. The rest looks like a barren waste land. 

My knee finally healed so yesterday I started tiling the baby/computer room again. I got so far and ran out of cement. I guess today I'll go to town and buy some more and the grout. My knee? I dove into a pool at night that I was not familiar with (DING-DONG!) and hit the bottom of the shallow end; nothing but raw meat. Oh well, at least the head went into the deep. I'm lucky.

  

Johnny Rotten, as we all call our newest addition, is doing well and growing like a sprout. He is already holding his head up and rolling over. Cherry has her hands full. Dave had it right when he walked in after he was born, took one look at him and said "yup, Johnny Rotten." We all adore him.

Dave and I also skipped to the beach for a few days to visit Dr. Boy and check out their new home. We love it there and Dave and I both agreed, it was the best vacation we ever had. 

My old boss died right in the middle of all this. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he is gone. It was a blessing though. I talked to his wife the week before he died and so I knew he was ready to go to his Maker. I don't like loosing friends but I know in my heart, I will see him again.

There is more to this old farm life that I wish I could write down, but it's best if I don't.  I used to feel I could write my most intimate thoughts on this white screen but some where along the way, it disappeared. I'm fading. I don't know why.

Klf

Little Fella, Little Fella

This morning, I said "Self, post something on your blob before it starts growing cob webs!" There is so much to catch up on but right now, I think a picture of me with my grand son will have to suffice.

To say "I'm in love" is true but not nearly the emotion I want to express. 

When my children were born it was a red hot burning that went white with strength. With my grand son, it's a fierce blue. Not the dark blue of a stormy ocean or the green blue of the Gulf of Mexico, but a medium bright blue. I guess like the sky on a crystal clear day. Maybe when I get my wits about me again, I can better describe this feeling; I don't know. All I can say is that it feels me and I am in deep love. I can barely keep my hands off him and have to sit on them when in his presence.

I didn't know I had so many wrinkles. Damn pictures! That's okay, I've joined the highly esteemed and oh so sought after status of Nanny-Hood. Let the wrinkles be damned~ I'll hide oatmeal raisin cookies in the crevices for the little fella, little fella. 

Klf